The Ultimate Musical Parody
by SkarmoryDarkPulse
Summary: Sonic and his friends verse each other in a contest, who can write the best parody music? The winner gets all seven Chaos Emeralds. Everyone wants to win for their own reasons. M Rated, disturbing rewrites, and strong language, Sonic wants Knux some yaoi
1. Prologue: Auditions Begin

**The Ultimate Musical Parody**

**Prologue: Auditions Begin**

Dr. Eggman fell asleep on top of his computer desk, in a mountain of soda cans. Metal Sonic kicked the door open.

"Eggman! You fat fuck, the Chaos Emeralds have been spotted."

Eggman yawned and got up "Really? fetch them for me my Creation, chop-chop" Eggman clapped his hands.

"You ungrateful douche, get them your self, I'm not going to get my ass kicked by Sonic again, you take the damage."

"Fine" Eggman said as he put on his coat. "But, clean up these bloody soda cans while I'm out, my robotic slave." Eggman ran out the door panting.

"What a slave driver!" said Metal Sonic. "I don't need him, I'm going to get those emeralds for myself." Metal Sonic blasted out the window and towards where the Chaos Emeralds were spotted.

Meanwhile Sonic was talking to Tails about his feelings. "You know what I mean Tails? I know your not a homosexual like me, but doesn't it hurt you when you like someone, and they don't acknowledge your existence?"

"Actually I don't Sonic, me and Cream have been dating for months."

"Everyones together but me! Knuckles why won't you love me!" said Sonic

Tails heard a beep. "Sonic Chaos Emeralds, lets go." Sonic and Tails ran towards the Emeralds. Sonic and Tails arrived at the same time as Eggman, and Metal Sonic.

Already at the Emerald site was Amy, Shadow, Vector, Espio, Charmy, Big the Cat, Knuckles, Rouge, and Cream.

"I did not know this was going to be a fucking party, hand over the Emeralds, I need them to discover my past." said Shadow.

"I need them because I'm the greatest treasure hunter ever." said Rouge.

"I need them for my mechs." added Tails.

"We need them because we are as greedy as hell" said team Chaotix.

"I need them to over power that fucking slave driver Eggman."

"I need them to rule the world" added Eggman.

"To tell you the truth, I don't need them, I just wanted to be in the story." said Big.

"I need them to save my mother, again" said Cream.

"I need them to impress Rouge" said Knuckles embarrassed.

"I need them, to impress you Knuckles" Sonic added.

"Never going to happen Sonic" finished Knuckles.

"Hey! Don't leave me out, I need them to impress my love, Sonic" said Amy.

"Never going to happen Amy."

the bickering went on for only minutes until a dark figure appeared in the center of the emerald area.

"You people make me sick! How many times have you lost these things! Since you dumb asses keep losing the Emeralds, good and evil, I'm going to try something new." The Figure paused for a second. "A contest, thats what I'm going to do, whoever can rewrite music the best will win the Emeralds."

"Bull" added Shadow. "I don't have time for this, i need those Emeralds.."

"Black Hedgehog, shut it, round one will be Auditions, pick a Song and rewrite it, simple as that, I will reappear when Auditions are done."

"How will you know when Auditions are over, aren't you judging?" added Vector.

"Glad you reminded me, you, the bee, and the chameleon will be judging."

"But we wanna win too!"

"Shut it or your own excrements will come out of the wrong openings."

"Where's the contest fruit cake? I want those emeralds ASAP" said Sonic.

"Right here." said the Figure as a building blasted out of the ground.

"Judges, get in there and prep, if you don't vote fairly, I will kill, sue, or kick your asses"

Chaotix saluted "Yes sir." Chaotix ran into the building.

"You all will now be assigned numbers." Papers appeared in everyone's hands with a number on them.

"God damn, I'm number one!" whimpered Sonic.

"You have ten minutes to write a parody of a song of your choice, get busy!"

Everyone ran off and started thinking.

"It begins" said the Figure.

**In Chapter One Sonic will sing a parody of In The Navy that he wrote himself 0o, be warned**

**I do not own the Sonic Franchise or the Characters.**


	2. Chapter One: Sonic, In The Navy

**Chapter 1: Sonic, In The Navy**

Sonic looked at his number, number one. Shadow looked at Sonic.

"Hey fag boy, your not going to win."

"I'll show you Shadow, I will be parody master and win those emeralds, that will impress Knuckles for sure."

"Whatever Sonic, you make me sick, do what you want, round one is a gimme, just pick a song that fits you and reword it, what are you picking anyways, probably something gay like 'in the navy'?"

"Thats right Shadow."

"I knew it, whatever, I'm number two, so I'm on after you, just make sure you don't piss the judges off to bad."

Sonic entered the room and faced the judges, Vector, Charmy, and Espio.

"Ok Sonic, I've been hearing shit all day, please rape my ears with an awesome rewrite."

"Hit it bitch."

_The song starts._

Knuckles give me pleasure  
Take my dick and measure  
Star in pornography  
Knuckles can you begin to make my dreams all cum on you or  
Or onto me  
When can you like guys  
Play in porn and skinny dive  
Explore homosexuality  
Knuckles is the man  
I love his fucking can  
When undiscovered partners meet

In my asshole  
Yes, Knuckles can give my dick a squeeze  
In my asshole  
Yes, Knuckles can jerk me off with ease  
In my asshole  
Come on now, Knuckles, you make me stand  
In my asshole, in my asshole  
You can do it with your hands  
In my asshole  
Come on, and ride my fucking can  
In my asshole  
Come on cock as rough as paper sand  
In my asshole  
Come on Knuckles, jerk off in a pan  
In my asshole, in my asshole, in my asshole (in my asshole)

I want you, I want you  
See your cum as white as glue

If you don't like censors  
Take your cock and enter  
My poop shooting ass  
You don't have to wait  
There is no need to masturbate  
Every drop of semen lasts  
Maybe your not gay  
To join the GSA  
Bout don't you worry 'bout a thing  
For I'm sure there will be  
Always a good navy  
My dick fits in like a key

Sonic grinned as he repeated the chorus. Vector, Charmy, and Espio's mouths dropped to the floor.

"What kind of sick shit was tha-"

"Watch it Charmy whispered Espio, despite the horrific lyrics, it was still an awesome rewrite, so if you don't want to get sued we have to send this guy through to the next round."

"He's right" added Vector "Your through to round two, send Shadow in, would ya?"

Sonic walked out and gave a cheer.

**In the next chapter Shadow will will sing his parody of Crawling In The Dark.**

**The rewrites will never repeated choruses, the chorus will appear once in each rewrite.**

**I do not own the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, or characters.**


	3. Chapter Two: Shadow, Crawling In T Dark

**Chapter 2: Shadow, Crawling In The Dark**

Sonic came out of the room dancing.

"They put you through, didn't they?"

"You bet your ass they did Shadow, they want you in there right now, I'm going to repeat my song to Knuckles, hopefully it turns him on!" Sonic bolted off to find Knuckles.

"I guess lyrics don't matter" said Shadow to himself "I guess its all based on creativity, no matter, I've got the best idea. Shadow went into the performance room.

"Freaking hell!" said Vector.

"Sonic scarred me for life" said Charmy shivering.

"Alright Shadow, make it quick, Sonic creeped us out to the point of emotional therapy." added Espio.

"Here we go." said Shadow.

The music started.

I will eradicate  
And slice my everything, for just a seconds worth  
Of how my wrists are feeling  
And I wish I could know, if the times that I've been baked  
And all the drugs that I will take wont end up leaving me nothing

What are emos for?  
I must demand it  
Ive been dressing all in dark and ignoring cancer  
Piercings to the core, realitys never landed  
Ive been dressing all in dark and ignoring cancer

depressed on the lawn  
Assure me its ok to use my razor and not my nails  
To enjoy the sharpness  
Will my death be coming suddenly?  
Will I ever get to see that emos arent corny?

**Chorus Repeat **

So how much emo music do I know?  
How much further do I have to go?  
How much more depression do I know?  
Because Im looking and I just cant see inside, I'm a pussy  
No one understands me

**Chorus Repeat**

"Good enough?" said Shadow.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" said Charmy.

"We've been through two contestants in the audition portion, and both songs really told us a lot about you guys." said Vector.

"You need help buddy, but sadly were only judging rewrites, and we don't want to get our asses kicked just for this shit" added Espio.

"So your through, because this emo piece of crap was decent." said Charmy.

"Hmph, good enough? That was flawless!" gloated Shadow.

"Whatever wrist slitter, send Knuckles in, its his turn." said Espio.

"Fine" said Shadow as he left.

"Its going to be one hell of a day." said Charmy.

**In the next chapter, Knuckles will sing his remake of Candy Shop, by 50 Cent.**

**I do not own the Sonic Franchise, or the Characters.**


End file.
